20 Funny Michael Owen Quotes That Will Make You Laugh!

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Stupid Michael Owen Quotes

Michael Owen was once the most feared striker in Europe before injuries quickly destroyed his career. Liverpool was where Owen made his name, scoring 158 times in 197 appearances for the Reds. He made a big money move to Real Madrid but things didn’t work out in Span and Newcastle brought him back to the Premier League. Injuries plagued his career at Tyneside and was surprisingly snapped up on a free by Manchester United. His most memorable moment for the Red Devils came in the Manchester Derby when he scored the winning goal in the dying minutes of the game. After Man United he played a season at Stoke City before hanging up his boots in 2013.

Since retiring from professional football, Owen has turned to punditry as a way to stay in football. Unfortunately the former England striker isn’t the most intelligent pundit and is regularly mocked on social media for his commentary during games on BT Sport. Not a game goes by where Owen doesn’t sprout out stupid one-liners to avoid awkward silences. While commentating on football games isn’t an easy job, Owen should definitely take some lessons from Gary Neville or continue life as a living meme!

Nonetheless, here is my list of Michael Owen’s funniest quotes!

  1. “He looks like a footballer.”

Owen’s insightful opinion on Anthony Martial’s ability when he scored that insane solo goal against Liverpool.

2. “That would’ve been a goal had it gone inside the post.”

No way shut the front door!

3. “I love these players with two feet.”

The left footed striker has a strange appreciation for those who can pass with either foot.

4. “They’re outswarming them.”

Now he’s just making up words that don’t exist! Apparently this quote was talking about Liverpool’s counter-attack tactics against Arsenal.

5. “With all due respect to Leicester, nobody showed them any respect last year.”

That magical year when Leicester City FC shocked the footballing world by comfortably winning the title.

6. “Who’s bigger than Liverpool? Maybe only Real Madrid or Barcelona.”

Liverpool isn’t even the biggest club in the UK.

7. “What a feeling it is to be a manager and bring someone on.”

Luckily, the chances of him becoming a manager are slim to none.

8. “It’s hit the facial part of his head.”

In other words, the ball hit his face.

9. “It’s definitely hit Defoe’s hand as it’s gone in, but it’s not a handball for me.”

Ball to hand maybe?

10. “Whichever team scores more goals usually wins.”

Yeah… that’s how football works.

11. “In the space of a wink of an eye.”

That’s not how the saying goes!

12. “That’s a fantastic penalty, but he’ll be gutted it went wide.”

I’m sure supporters love a good penalty that goes wide.

13. “Brilliant, that’s exactly what the wall’s there for”.

Another gem of a quote talking about a PSG free-kick crashing in the wall.

14. “If Rojo wasn’t left footed he’d have used his right for that one”.

15. “Klopp has gone for a really strong spine in Mignolet, Enrique, Allen and Benteke.”

Four players no where near good enough to play for the Reds!

16. “I’m not the biggest fan of swingers.”

A one-liner worthy of being made into a meme.

17. “He’s just pulling off Zouma there, which is no mean feat.”

Not exactly a nice image to put in someone’s head.

18. “Blackburn have got two strikers on and they’re both playing up front.”

19. “I know Wayne Rooney well and as that ball is coming across he’s licking his lips.”

20. “When you train as normal, you train as you normally would.”

Please leave your favorite quotes by Michel Owen in the comment section!

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